Sunday, June 28, 2015

One Thousand Gratitudes, Part XXV: 400-376

As the evening winds down, a new week begins, and the seventh month of working on this project comes to a close, I can't help but think about how much work we -- as people -- have to do to make this world a better place.

I don't understand how we got to where we did.

I don't understand why people hate, why they fear things different from what they value.

I don't understand the crime, the damage, and the pain some inflict upon others.

Somewhere -- I think -- in this mix called life lies an imbalance of energy.

We have to fix it.

We can't go on degrading, killing, and being unjust.

In a small meeting a couple of weeks ago, the president of my company suggested that we -- as sales people -- should focus on what we can get as opposed to that which we cannot.

It didn't hit me at first, but later, I realized that I've directed a lot of my energy in the direction of the cases I can't get (or haven't gotten yet, I always think) instead of focusing on the ones I can.

This feels analogous to the human experience, and now that I think about it, a lot of what Lao Tzu wrote in the Tao Te Ching. We should focus our energy on what we have, not that which we lack.

I'll get down off of my soap box now, but I think this starts with giving thanks.

This project has shown me the abundance of things for which I am grateful.

As always that begins with my ability. It includes my time, my computer, my mind, my paper, my printer, my Internet connection. It involves my dictionary, my pen, my family, my friends, and it involves you, the reader.

Thank you.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

One Thousand Gratitudes, Part XXIV: 425-401

Nothing should feel weird at this point, but I gotta say it feels odd to knock out another hundred. I feel grateful that things to be grateful about keep rolling in as I post these. I even had a few rain down on me while editing this section, so, depending on how long my children nap, I made get two up today.

Having typed that I expect to hear one or see the other within the next six minutes.

Anyway, I've found -- here in the last couple of months -- that my biggest challenge hinges on the proverbial practicing of that which I preach. Like before lunch today when my son's fatigue and hunger dictated his behavior. I grew short with him and bordered on mean.

Treating him that way measures as the opposite of fair. It's short-sighted and lame of me, and I'm stuck in this rut of recognizing it after the fact instead of just before it happens. Perhaps I need to practice graciousness instead of worrying about writing about it.

Thanks, as always, though, for reading, and send me vibes of strength and patience. I need little else in life right now.

Saturday, June 6, 2015

One Thousand Gratitudes, Part XXI: 500-476

I've had it suggested to me that my writing is sometimes too personal.

Another person told me that my stuff was sometimes, "T.M.I."

I don't want to sound like an asshole when I say this, but I don't know another way to write. If, at the end of the day, the only thing I can say about my writing suggests something in the way of truth and honesty, then I will feel as though I have succeeded.

I don't think that a writer can call him or her self a writer if he or she doesn't write from the heart.

I do, and I hope that those that think they love me recognize that.

I also hope they recognize that life -- the inside shit, the nuts and grains of the mind's and the soul's inner workings -- represent a body of water.

You're always susceptible to the weather, to the storms, and to the calms.

You are what you are; you feel what you feel.

Life is real. It's joyful. It's hard. It's a mixed bag.

Every day I recognize -- in different and fleeting moments -- that there are things about myself and my life I wish I could change and then I remember that I'm thankful for who I am, what I've been, and what I will become. Neither feeling cancels the other. They're just there.